Maths jokes

You have 3 cups of tea and 20 sugar lumps. How can you divide the sugar lumps between the cups
of tea so that there is an odd number of lumps in each cup? You aren’t allowed to split lumps.

(Answer: 1 lump in the first cup – that’s an odd number. 1 lump in the second cup – that's an odd number, too. 18 lumps in the last cup – that’s a very odd number of sugar lumps to put in your tea!)

Q. What did the zero say to the eight?

A. Nice belt!

A man is on a night flight across the Atlantic.
After they’ve been going for a while, the pilot makes an announcement:

   

“Ladies and Gentleman, I’m sorry to tell you that one of our 4 engines has just fallen off.
We’re still perfectly safe, but we’ll now be a hour late in New York”
.

Half an hour later, there’s another announcement:

“Ladies and Gentleman, I’m sorry to tell you that another of the engines has fallen off.
Don’t worry, we’re still safe, but we’ll now be two hours late in New York”
.

Half an hour later, and it’s the captain again:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s really not our night. A third engine has now fallen off.
We’ll now be four hours late in New York"
.

At this, the man turns to his neighbour and says:
“I hope the fourth engine doesn’t fall off, or we’ll be up here all night!”

A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice,
and he will say that on the average he feels fine.



There are three kinds of mathematicians:
those who can count and those who can’t.